Untitled

Tonight I did something brave. Something not like me at all. For the first time since the last time, I told a man I love him. But not just any man, the greatest man I’ve ever know. Unlike the last time, he was honest with me in a way that didn’t allow my heart to shatter. No, with Andy, he told me I was too much of a good friend to lose in a chance of being together… Which ended our friendship.

But with Adam… He told me that he wasn’t ready to say he loved me because he didn’t want to say it until he meant it. I cried because I’m an emotional baby but he made me feel so special and beautiful in that way he always does with a smile and that look. I know now more than ever that he’s the man that will sweep me off my feet over and over and over and break my heart more than anyone else ever has… but he’ll always, ALWAYS, be my special guy.

Tonight I said “I love you” and didn’t get it back. But I learned that he may really be the one. I fell more in love with him just because of what he said to me in the kitchen. He comforted me in my upset state and told me that it was okay to be that way but to not worry… I wouldn’t be for long.

It was the most unconventional romantic thing I’ve ever had done to me. He grabbed me, kissed me, and was honest with me. That’s all that I want and he does it because he knows that saying something he doesn’t mean until he’s sure will hurt me worse than him not saying it until he’s ready.

I’m the luckiest woman alive. He said he is the luckiest man alive because he has me. He said that I always surprise him and keep him guessing and smiling and that I did as much for him as he’s done for me.

He made the worst thing ever to happen to me a good thing in the end. If I hadn’t had met David and been through what that… whatever… did to me… I wouldn’t have met Adam. I wouldn’t have been brave that first night and told him I thought he was cute. I wouldn’t have been brave and gone out with him. I’d still be a coward, alone, letting the world defeat me instead of telling the world I win.

Adam saved my life and I fell in love. I apparently changed his for the better and he’s still falling.

I have never ever been happier.